Am I busy or boring?

It’s been a fun summer I’ve taken a world wide breath taking beautiful and surreal trip to South Africa, went camping with my family for the first time ever! It was a double celebration of my husbands Grad reunion and that our youngest son was finally sleeping through the night at age 5. I’ve kept a vigil at his bedside with his severe sleep apnea that we waited two years to have treated.

Now with the introduction of his Sensory Integration Disorder (SPD) at 2.5, Obstructive sleep apnea at 4, autism at 4.5 and now asthma diagnosis at 5 years of age it’s been a wild and scary ride! With the medication regimen he’s been on for the last two years he no longer requires surgery to treat his sleep apnea. His tonsils have shrunk from three times the size to normal. He had a therapy team at preschool consisting of an Occupational, Physical, and Speech and language therapist. He was also in a private program with an educational aid and since spring with a behavioural home team.

One of our past times was attending appointments at the family doctor, paediatrician, Sleep Specialist, ENT, allergist, behavioural aids, and psychologist. Also keeping our case worker up to date with his progress and requesting services. When you have a child with special needs your village grows as the result of all the support. I feel very blessed that we qualify for Government educational programs and services that provide funding for my sons team. I also have to keep the appointment and lesson schedule organized, collect invoices, bill the funding program and pay our team.

When my husband won this trip to Capetown, SA I was so proud, excited, and nervous. The questions swirled around in my head who would look after our kids, what about the kids school, should I keep them at home or beg family to take care of them, what about our home team, would my youngest lose the progress he made in three months. I worried, chewed my fingernails off with anxiety, and laid awake night after night looking at the ceiling. I had numerous friends, family, and dear readers who asked me if I was getting excited. My token response was “yes it’s a trip of a lifetime and I’m grateful.” It was the truth but not the whole truth.

What people didn’t know was how I was breathing into a paper bag at 2 am to prevent a full blown panic attack! I had never left my kids for more than a weekend and my husband and I had never left them overnight. That’s what happens when you have children with separation anxiety you make sacrifices to ensure their well being. We were overdue for a vacation so I shook hands with my fear, asked it to be my ally and got to work solving the problems and answering all my endless questioning.

We had family look after our kids for the three weeks, we pulled them out of school early to make things easier with travel. I packed all the entertainment, toys, educational supports, and wrote a book about my kids daily routines, medication regimen, and therapy schedule for emotional regulation. There were days of relentless rain, unbearable heat, and ice cream treats daily. My kids got to have a holiday with aunts, uncles, and cousins coming to visit and day trips with their Aunty.

My youngest played games, toys, and had his Bubba read to him. He also taught himself how to play Twinkle, Twinkle little star on Aunty’s iPad and later on her piano. His brother learned how to draw dragons and sketch designs on the Osmo play program. They missed us as much as we missed them and contacted them every chance we could. The time difference was 32 hours from Africa to MST so some of those FaceTime conversations were a blur.

It was amazing to see their excitement and how they wanted us to talk to the pets about our African Safari. We had a fun filled, very busy holiday and enjoyed every minute of it. We even survived a seven hour day en route to Mpumalanga, SA on what would be a regular two hour flight from Capetown to Hudesprite. All we could do was wait, laugh, eat candy by the bushel, and pass time with crossword puzzles.

Now during all my galavanting my blog went on a holiday too as I wasn’t able to post with limited wifi and no phone. I kept myself busy when I had downtime journaling and taking amazing pictures of the sights. I’ve had time now to catch up on sleep, get my internal clock back on Canadian time, and even write a little. I appreciate and value each and everyone of you that comes here to read my stories and I read every comment. Even the spam ones trying to sell me a new program to increase my SEO stats.

I recently received one that was as honest as a toddlers response to how do I look today. The commenter stated that they had added me back to their list of blogs to read. My previous posts had gotten boring but my latest ones were interesting. So I was reinstated on the readers list and told I deserve it. I read that a few times over so I could really absorb the message. After years of advocating for my sons health, attaining information, researching countless articles, and acquiring a team of specialists. While living on broken, fragmented sleep patterns, and caffeine, shakeology, and exercise to get me through the day I reflected on exactly what I deserve.

I deserve to take a holiday and strengthen and rebuild my marriage. Because really folks special needs parenting isn’t for the faint at heart.

I deserve to finally catch up on sleep that I’ve been short of for five years.

I deserve to cuddle my sons and brag to everyone who’s reading of my love and admiration for them.

I deserve to inhale, exhale, and breathe and just let things be as they are. Without losing or giving up control of the situation just saying amen and walking away.

Most of all I deserved a break to be pampered, astonished by beauty and opulence, and appreciate how truly blessed I am. Thank you to you all who still pop in and say hello whether I’m busy or boring. Cheers and blessings from my smile to yours. ❤️

A Journey of Self Discovery Preview Review Tour of East-A Novel by Peri Hoskins

I recently signed up to be part of this blog tour with Ruisha Book Promotions. I’m a beta reader and I love it I have authors and publishers that give me a copy of their books for me to read and give and honest review. It’s a win/win for us both as I get to read authors I might not have discovered and the authors find new readers through my reviews.


By Peri Hoskions
Preorder Now

Amazon Link

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It’s 1994. Junior lawyer, Vince Osbourne, leaves behind a small, mean and viciously circular life in the city representing petty criminals and takes to the road. He’s lived 30 years. The wide continent of Australia is out in front. He’s almost young. Where will the road lead?

East takes in sunsets; rain in the desert; a five-year-old girl on a bike; a battered former thief and jockey; old-timers; young lovers; beautiful women, and aboriginals in public bars. The open road connects many vignettes making a rich tapestry of human encounters.

East is poignant, gritty, funny, sad and above all: human. Hoskins’ laconic prose captures the harsh, arid country in all its big, empty beauty along with quirky exchanges with strangers, travel buddies, shop assistants, workmates, and friends old and new. A journey without and within, East taps into the spiritual realm that lies beneath this land and its people.

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This intriguing book is based on the author’s personal memoirs and although it is described as fiction it feels very, very real.
Vince has reached a stage at 30 when he wants to break free from a life that seems to be suffocating him. He has been working as a junior lawyer but needs to do something different and this book tells of his travels towards the East of Australia.
His journey draws you along with him as he discovers himself and realises that he can achieve so much more than he previously thought possible. He settles in places with people from his past that he sees in a new light, along with their prejudices.
Then there are the long and testing journeys across the deserts of Australia, meeting a fascinating mix of people along the way. Vince’s observations on the Aboriginal people, being of Maori origin himself, are extremely revealing. The back breaking work he takes on in a mine, to earn some extra money, couldn’t be further removed from his previous work as a lawyer.
I thoroughly enjoyed this book and would highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys travel writing and journeys of self-discovery. ~Robert Fear 8.10.16

My book review for East-A Novel

East is a book in the style of Jack Kerouac On the Road. I read this one in my twenties and was excited to take an adventure like he did. With Peri’s book the main character Vince is a lawyer living a unhappy life in his chosen career. Through his clients he sees corruption, bitterness, revenge, and negativity. At 30 years of age he embarks on a cross country journey that takes him across Australia and east towards his birthplace.

On Vince’s adventures he meets and befriends many different wanderers like himself at each hostel he stays at. Each character adds something colourful to his life. With their personalities, ethnicities, culture, and perspective on life as they know it. Each persons aura vibrates and helps give Vince this gift of sight as each one reveals a story to him. I loved how Vince discovered more about himself and why he left that life of a lawyer behind and all its preconceptions.

I love with each little township that Vince encounters he finds a piece of his soul that he had long forgotten about. Where the locals are either warm and inviting or hostile and distrusting. He finds a kinship with the hard working, colourful, gold miners and sympathizes with the struggles of the local Aboriginals. Each day he scribbled away in his journal intending to write his novel of his travel soul searching journey.

One thing I recommend is that you have a dictionary nearby as this novel takes place in Australia so there’s a lot of Australian and British slang I wasn’t aware of. It was refreshing to read in Peri’s conversational style of writing and learn some new language I hadn’t encountered before being Canadian.

I really enjoyed this book with it’s Ray to read chapters when I had hungry kids to feed and it was hard to put the book down. I wanted to see how Vince would handle each situation he encountered. Especially the racial tensions between the white and black populations. The language is raw and blunt so I would recommend an 18 + reader. As I’m a truckers daughter it didn’t surprise or offend me with the blue collar characters language.

I really cared about the main character Vince and some of the supporting characters he meets along the way. I was invested in his journey towards east as I had recently had an international trip to South Africa. That has left me eager to explore more parts of the world, and awaiting my return to the beauty of Africa again one day. What Vince realizes as he heads east is there’s really no place like home and rediscovering his family’s roots in his Irish and Maori heritage.

Here for your enjoyment is an excerpt to East Chapter 1-Leaving by Peri Hoskins


~Enjoy Chapter One From East~

The bonnet in front of me is big and white. Rain on the windscreen – the wipers sweep it away. The clouds are grey, the road is grey, the suburbs are grey and I am leaving. There is joy in that. I’m leaving it behind – a life – small, petty, viciously circular. Out in front is the road and I don’t know where it will end. I am free. I’m almost young.

A beginning. Renewal pulses in my blood, pumping out from my heart, through my veins, feeding me, making me new again, a keenly conscious being reaching out to the uncertainty. This road will lead me to places that I have not seen – to people I have not met. There’s no place I have to be and no time I have to be there.

I drive on and on leaving the city far behind. The rain clears. Sunlight glints on wet grass and trees. I see farmhouses, fences and cows. The gnawing in my belly eases as I’m gently enveloped by the freedom of the great mystery now upon me. The shackles of the old life fall away, for I’m shedding a skin – dry, worn, old and scaly. I found the courage to step into the dream. And the dream has become real.

The life of a suburban lawyer is behind me. Small decisions. Small repetitions. Which tie to wear today. Pay the electricity bill. Sunday – iron five shirts for the week ahead. See the same people. Say the same things. Hear the same things said. In that life I wondered whether I had it better than the petty criminals I represented in court. Some had no job and no home. They pleaded guilty and I said what I could say, for something had to be said. And then the court, that street-sweeper of humanity, tidied them away. For there must be a place – there must be somewhere for them to go: a prison, a halfway house, a drug rehab centre. There must be a place for everyone – somewhere. These people had fallen through cracks and become untidy. Did they envy my tidy life, those that I helped to tidy away? Did they see my life as I saw it – not a tidy life, but a tidy prison?

Tidiness. I had been taught to lead a tidy life. What was it they had said – the teachers, the headmasters? Work hard at school. Get a good job. Be a good employee. Pay your taxes. Mow your lawns. Be a good neighbour. Be a good citizen. Lead a tidy life. Not a full life, a varied life, a great life – no, a tidy life of small neat circles. I have lived thirty years.

As the trees and houses and petrol stations whistle by, the reasons for leaving once again crowd my mind. At thirty, life no longer stretches out before me like an uncharted great ocean. If I live to be eighty, more than one third of my life is spent. Where am I? At a time of life when I’m supposed to be somewhere – I’m nowhere I ever wanted to be. I’ll taste the last drops of youth before the cup passes from my lips, forever. The familiar yearning claws at my insides again – but it’s different now – it’s happy knowing I have been true to it – finally.

The yearning … a murmur in a corner of my soul … that’s how it started … a couple of years ago … I pushed it away. I was busy; there were things to do. It kept coming back, stronger and stronger: a growing gnawing that would not be denied. The day I turned thirty, I came to know what it was, finally. It was the feeling of having missed my destiny. At one of life’s important junctures, I don’t know when or where, I’d taken the wrong turn.

So maybe that’s what it is: a journey back down life’s highway to try and find the turn I missed. A journey to reconnect with who I am and what I should be doing here – in this life. Did I ever really want to be a lawyer? Maybe I did it because my father didn’t finish law school. Maybe I did it for him, and not for me. Didn’t have the courage to find my destiny and follow it … settled for safety and caution. And the small repetitions of the safe life had closed in and were suffocating me. Don’t know if that’s what it is … I had to go – I know that much … it was the most honest thing I could do. And now it’s real: this journey with no end and no decided route. It’s a big country. Yeah, I’ll head east … And in my travels maybe I’ll find something of the soul of this land and its people …

I have been at the wheel for four hours. The muscular movements needed to keep the car on course have become automatic. My thoughts drift freely now, first to the future – new, pregnant with possibility – before anchoring in my childhood. I recall a long-buried idea – from a time of wonder at a world full of possibilities. As a child I thought I could see into people, a kind of second sight.

Memories flow into my mind – sharp, clear, focused. I see things now as I saw things then. I am a small boy sitting in the passenger seat of a car. My father is driving. We approach an intersection. A policeman is standing in the middle directing traffic. He signals the car in front to stop. The policeman fascinates me – his neat blue uniform, high black boots, long white gloves – his precise hand signals. He makes cars stop and go by moving his hands like the man who made the puppets move at the fairground. The gloved hands move and the cars obey, crossing the intersection, slowly and respectfully passing the uniformed man.

From above I hear the noise of a plane. In the eye of my mind as a child I see the silver wings and fuselage. The policeman’s eyes turn skyward to the plane I see clearly in the window of my imagination. The officer’s long-gloved hands slowly fall to rest at his heavy belt. Cars bank up at the intersection. The driver in front looks at him for directions but he gives none. Unconscious of the traffic, his attention is focused in the sky above. The face of the policeman loses form and I see into him. First I feel his discomfort in the hot uniform, the dryness in his throat and the tiredness behind his eyes. Gradually my perception deepens. I sense the numbed heart, the thwarted ambitions – the hopes and dreams unrealized and gone awry. He doesn’t want to be here, directing traffic. The past has cheated him. He is disconnected from the present and fearful of the future.

A car horn honks from behind. A driver doesn’t know why the traffic is not moving. The policeman’s eyes return to the traffic, his arms snapping up with military precision. As he waves us on, the look of purpose clothes his face once again and the moment of seeing into him has passed.

The second sight would come to me without warning and always just for a fleeting moment or two. I would see my mother trying to hide an emotion or catch my father unguarded, looking into the distance. In the moment of second sight the physical would melt – the body become transparent and amorphous. Instead of seeing the person I would see into the person – reach inside to the heart, sense the fears, touch the dreams – see the humanity, raw and struggling.


Peri Hoskins is the author of ‘Millennium – A Memoir’, a travelogue memoir that has received many five star reader reviews.
Christopher Moore of the New Zealand Listener had this to say about ‘Millennium – A Memoir’:
‘Written with perhaps the merest of bows to Joseph Conrad and Robert Louis Stevenson, the book’s colourful cast of characters come together to greet the dawn of the 21st century. It’s a vigorously written sly-humoured account of human encounters in a small place lapped by the tides of change…It’s a genial well observed book that insinuates itself into the affections.’
~Christopher Moore, New Zealand Listener, 2 August 2014.

​Peri Hoskins was born in Wellington, New Zealand. He is the second son of a family of five children, four boys and a girl. He is of mixed Maori and Anglo-Celtic ancestry. Peri grew up in Whangarei, Northland, New Zealand, a provincial city then home to about 30,000 people. He was educated at WhangareiBoys’ High School where he twice won a national essay competition. After completing high school and winning the school prizes for English, History and Geography, Peri went to Auckland University where he studied law and the humanities, including history and English literature.

Peri was substantially based in Australia between 1985 and 2005. He completed his study of law and the humanities at the University of Sydney including several courses in philosophy. He worked as a lawyer in New South Wales before embarking on a 1994 five-month road trip all around Australia. This road trip comprises the material for his soon to be published second book, East. Peri subsequently worked as a lawyer in both New South Wales and Queensland, and developed his current specialisation in legal work – civil litigation. In December 1999 Peri travelled to the Kingdom of Tonga to be in the first country in the world to see in the new millennium. The diary of his three weeks in Tonga has become his first book, Millennium – A Memoir. In 2004 Peri completed a post graduate diploma in film and television production at Queensland University of Technology.
Peri now lives, writes and works as a barrister (being a self-employed lawyer) in Northland, New Zealand.

You can connect With Peri Hoskins here:
Website / Facebook / Twitter / Linkedin / Pinterest / Amazon Author Page

Read an interview with author Peri Hoskins here:
Meet The Author


~Special Offer From Peri Hoskins~

the Millennium ebook FREE
Just enter your email address and you’ll get instant access to download Millennium absolutely FREE.
I hope you enjoy it. If you do, I’d really appreciate you sharing your thoughts about Millennium: A Memoir with a brief review and rating on Amazon, Goodreads, or your favourite place to talk about books.
Get Your Download Today

This special offers comes to an end on August 31, 2016

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Ten Things of Thankful-lazy summer days

Gratitude to mean is a game changer. I wake up each day no matter what mood I’m in I’m grateful. Then I must pour tea right from the pot into my mouth to achieve my caffeine buzz. I don’t drink coffee so I need jolt as I’ve been sleeping horribly. I say my morning prayers and evening ones as well, as saying out loud five things I’m grateful for that day. Here’s my list that ties into together with

Lizzi and the gangs weekly TTOT. Even though I didn’t make the linkup due to a tech glitch I still wanted to share what’s making me thankful.

I’m thankful for these lazy days of summer and feel sadness that they will be ending soon. I keep reminding my son’s that the days off are dwindling and we must pack in as much fun as possible. So trips to the river, park, playgrounds, and water gun fights in the backyard are of the upmost priority.

I’m thankful that my oldest the Captain had a great time at his hockey camp. It was his first one and he did well and respected and abided by his coaches rules. That’s not always easy for an almost ten year old so I’m very proud of his manners displayed and the friends he made.

I’m thankful that my youngest the Mad dog enjoyed camp as well. He had a little friend to play with during the week and we had fun going out for breakfast and watching his brother on the ice. He’s doing very well with his socializing and initiating play which was one of our goals for behavioural aid plan.

I’m thankful for the sun shining finally! We had a very rainy month of July in my part of Canada so to be out and feeling those healing Rays makes me feel my happiest. My poor flower beds will need to be attended to this week as the weeds are choking them out after that monsoon they had to deal with.

I’m thankful for having my book reviewfor Fatherhood- Dispatches from the early years up on the parenting site Lose the Cape that I contribute to. I follow the author Andrew B. Scott on social media and he was happy with my review of his book and shared it on his social media. Big fan girl moment when I saw that!

I’m thankful for having a clean organized home after trying to get back into the swings of things with a more consistent routine. Laundry has always been my nemesis but I was allowing it to get out of control and feeling guilty if I spent time doing anything else. Ie: working, playing, reading, and writing. I’m happy to share there’s only one laundry basket to put away tomorrow as I was catching up on a book review I had to do.

I’m thankful that I was able to get the review East-the novel by Peri Hoskins posted today. I had everything ready to go and then I lost the information and all my hard work on a WordPress app glitch. So I did my best to retrieve and ended up starting from scratch. I even had it written as a draft too, but technology isn’t always my friend.

I’m thankful that the author Peri liked my review and we had a pleasant chat about writing and gathering fans from all over the world.

I’m thankful that I got to spend time enjoying the Olympics and the closing ceremonies made me feel so excited and proud of all the athletes. I thought this was a unforgettable and incredible Olympic games. There’s so much talent amongst these athletes and a lot of them are so young. I look forward to watching the Para Olympics in September as well.

I’m thankful I could think of ten things to be thankful for as some days have been long and I’ve been short on patience and need to get myself to a chiropractor and massage therapist so I can kick my grumpy morning moods to the curb. Enjoy your week ahead and take time to be thankful for your blessings. ❤️

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Krystal Blue book review-by Destiny Hawkins

It’s been a little while since I’ve done a book review. That is where my heart lies in reading and writing so I became a beta reader for the author Destiny Hawkins. Now this woman can spin a great story, and quickly too. As soon as I finish up a book she’s loading up my Kindle app with another! Not that I’m complaining though I really get wrapped up in her characters as she writes so vividly of their lives, loves, and stories.

Amazon link Continue reading

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Hangry-a 13 word story

I’m hangry- a combination of hunger leading to anger. My tummy rumbles loudly!

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Am I busy or just boring?

I’ve had a fun filled delightful summer vacation. First taking a trip of a lifetime to the beautiful and awe inspiring South Africa. I spent a week in Capetown, a day in Franshoek wine country, and four days in Mpamalanga in the Limpopo province of SA. I’ve spent two days traveling there with Air Canada and British Airways. On route to safari via South Africa express from Caoetown to Hudesrpite Then home again via South Africa Airways to Johannesburg to London and continuing on with Air Canada.

I’ve flown business class and had no need gone unfulfilled. The airline staff were exemplary in their service and professional manner. As soon as we left the security of that private class bubble things changed. Capetown was a breath taking beautiful and diverse city over four million in population. Yet not everyone has a vehicle there so traffic jams aren’t an issue there. There’s the public transit, city buses, and the subway trains. We had the hop on hop off bus tour pass so we got to see all the beautiful sites of the city. From downtown to Camps Bay, Seaside Point, and Houtes bay. I walked on sand so soft I didn’t make a sound.

I took the most spectacular pictures on three different cameras that I’m in the process of organizing into photo albums online and in a physical book. I have seen beauty and opulence and dire sadness and poverty. I’ve stood in the same footsteps that Mr. Nelson Mandela stood in at Capetown City hall, Robben island where he was held as a political prisoner of eighteen years of his twenty-seven year sentence. As well as private vineyard in Paarl where he was entertained by songstress Celine Dion, and had guests like the Clinton’s, Bono from U2, and Arch Bishop Desmond Tutu.

I’ve watched famous dance groups, musicians such as pop star Lyra and soulful stylings of Johhny Clegg an Accapella group called The Soil. And danced with the heart pounding rhythms of the African chorus. I’ve seen a theatre group dressed as Zulu Warriors dance with my husband and they made him a honorary spear recipient. I’ve had the immense pleasure of meeting and listening to Afrikan Zelda La Grange former personal aid to Mr. Nelson Mandela. She called him Khulu which means Grandfather in Afrikan in her seventeen years of employment with him. How it extended from his time in political office in 1994 to his retirement.

She is a very beautiful and a fascinating speaker. I was able to ask her what her favourite Mandela quote was and she shared it with our group gathered there and why it was so special to her.

She had said after his prison sentence he wasn’t able to sleep in a bed. He wouldn’t eat bread because that’s the only nourishment on what he had to survive on working sixteen hour days in the Blue stone lime quarry. He once had a meeting with the captain of the Springbok rugby team and there were dignitaries awaiting his presence. He stated he was talking to his captain and would be there when he was finished. I was fortunate enough to receive an autographed copy of her book Good morning Mr. Nelson which has already had the screen play rights bought and will be made into a movie.

I spent an afternoon after that amazing breakfast and Q&A with Zelda touring art galleries in the hole in the wall places. Which was hosted by the CEO of Danon and sponsored by Evian and then a delicious luncheon from an incredible chef and his team. Located on the Victoria and Edward water front overlooking the harbour of Capetown. Where we were in great company with a world class famous chef Cass Abrahams. She was incredible speaker where she entertained us with her stories of growing up as a Malaysian in Capetown. Also how she became internationally known for style of Cape Malay cooking. She told us of recipes, her family heritage, what it was like growing up in the apartheid era and how everyone was segregated according to their ethnicities. I also was able to ask her what her favourite comfort food meal she loved to create.

She told me it was tomato and beef

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Thinking of you in Heaven

Thinking of you in heaven, heartbroken without your children Watching them grow, change, and turn themselves inside out with grief. 

You were the nucleus of everything in their life. 

The reason they had a strong work ethic, the smiles that crept across their cherub like cheeks, and the cute little nicknames you have for each of them. 

Why do the sands of time keep falling through the hour glass when I want to squeeze every moment I had with you back into the bottle? 

I knew the moment we met it was a kindred connection. 

Two lost souls grieving for their one and only Mothers. 

They were the half that made us whole and then our children began to fill that void. 

Grief is like a vacuum at times sucking the joy out of life and rendering us powerless and useless. 

I remember what you said to me about death that no one really gets over it. The passage of time doesn’t heal the gaping wound of losing and loving someone. 

It only creates scar tissue that can be triggered and eroded away with one song, one moment, one emotion causing it to be ripped open oozing pain, love, loss, and blood soaked tears. 

Why did you have to die and leave this earth a little less warmer and brighter? 

God took the most precious earth angel who would do anything for your loved ones. 

He placed you in heaven like the bright star of light and love. 

And there you shine down on us all who reel in grief with missing you. 

Opening up our hearts and minds to your brilliance, and maybe in that moment of enlightenment I feel a little less lonely in the world. 
Love you my sweet friend not even death can break our bond of friendship. Shine on beautiful angel shine on.

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