1. Parrots fly towards an unknown destination as they hear my footsteps.
2. Cranes, kingfishers and dogs were basking in the Sun.
3. I listen to the same noise everyday. It doesn’t bore me. It rather helps me relax, focus and sleep. Human voices, automobiles and machination create a different kind of noise which is also natural but not spirited. It’s dark.
4. I chase the Sun. About 30 minutes spent in sweeping library floor and verandah and another 15 to burn the garbage trash.
5. A literature student seemed interested in the books i was registering yesterday. I gave him the treatise. He looked at it and then told how fondly his father preserved books by binding and taping them. I asked him if it was professional bookkeeping and he told it was a hobby. He is a theatre artist.
6. Artiste is a professional artist. Throughout my existence, which became almost inexplicable after what is ordinarily known as awakening there has been a conviction about escaping the reality which often seems harsh. Delusions help us while our time but if it’s actually work which needs to be finished before we enter into eternal blissful reality: you would find that mountain before you again. And again. And again…
7. Thankfully, the mountain can’t get bigger than it was if Karma is a law.
8. I always knew it was unreal. If it was enlightenment I was born with it. If it was a disorder I was born with it.
9. I look at the work of poets. They all recommended to sing songs praising reality. I am reality. I find all their songs were addressed to me. I find it a little awkward to sing songs to praise myself.
10. Hence I wonder. I wonder about contradictions and loopholes. About layers under which I have hid myself so well. Just to reach here I walked so long. Somehow unreal, dreamlike, ephemeral and infinite and yet so overwhelming. It swings both ways. Nostalgia is a positive emotion sometimes. Perhaps a good conceit but on the whole it’s depressing. In the totalitarian scheme : your sentimentality becomes food for others. They can joke only because there’s a joker. An object needs to become cause of their elation.
11. In a bigger picture : it’s a cosmic giggle. Bunch of dogs fighting over bitches. Patriarchy versus matriarchy. Myths filling newspapers and news channels. Same repeated loops of natural versus man made disasters. Farmers, businessmen, politicians and goons.